Commercial #1 is for Dove Soap for Men. Watch it here: http://video.yahoo.com/network/100076996?v=6934407&l=7438495
This commercial does not paint a completely false image of what a man is, some of it is right. Some of what this commercial says about manhood is correct. Fundamentally, what I find fascinating is that this ad is trying to show those watching it that there is a foundational, underlying, ingrained, hardwired difference between men and women. From this understanding they then argue that the way we respond to that is by making sure men and women have different kinds of soaps – they need a soap that is specifically designed and intended for them to use – because they are men.
Watching the commercial you can peruse just a few highlights of what they think a man is designed and hardwired to be. Men should: be good at sports, look cool, lift weights, be strong, know how to fight, get married, and fulfill duties of protecting and providing for your family. To delve into these full-fledged would take too much time and energy. But from these alone, we get the idea that men have things that make them men (profound I know). While, I would argue this is a mixed bag of correct and incorrect things of what manhood is – the point is this – men were created to be something unique and underlying it all is a character of strength and resolve.
Outside these highlights, there are two things that I want to point out in our conversation here.
1) "Stay out late, but be polite" – This commercial is appealing to the side in men that knows we were not meant to be tame and passive. This is illustrating that there is something is us that is supposed to be wild (go read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge for more). But if you notice, it even shows that men are meant to be wild but at the same time “be polite”. This shows us that culture identifies men as people who feel trapped and that we cannot be truly who we are, because society is telling us we have to be these nice, “polite” men. Culture wants us tame and to lose our edge to the point that we don’t rock the boat, don’t ruffle feathers, or even shake birdcages. *Note: Nice does not equate with good. Nice is passive. Nice does not stand up for what is right. Polite is afraid of offending people so as to not rock the boat. A polite guy will never speak out, because who is to say he is right? A nice guy may speak out, but in the end, because he is “nice” he will never act out or fight for justice, fight for what is right because he is a nice guy.*Note 2: Men should never be violent, rageful, or wrathful. A man simply stands up for what is right and this can look like many different things. When a man sees injustice, he acts. This is the wild side we can never tame down and make “polite”. *Note 3: I’m off my soap box now.
2) "You can take on anything" - This phrase is so true. Now, with everything else that was in this ad, culture painted a picture of a man that was a jock, and if you were not you are not a true man. I thoroughly disagree with this as nowhere in the Bible/by Jesus is man defined by his outside or the physical and praise Jesus for that. The key is that a man’s strength, resolve, character must be able to handle anything. His character must have the reputation of handling anything. This does not mean a man is not allowed to have weaknesses. This does not mean that he cannot be vulnerable. This does not mean that he cannot show emotions. What it simply means is that when times get tough so does the man. He will not run away. When life gets hard, this man is not going to get buried. He is a man that you want at your side helping you, because while it might be tough you know he and all those around him will in the end be okay. Dove for Men actually got that part right – kudos to you.
This snapshot of manhood is a picture of how confused our culture really is about gender and what it looks like to be a man. We must be wild but not too wild for we must constantly be “polite”. We must not step on any toes or hurt any feelings for then we would cease to be “nice”.
The blame for the confusion in masculinity can be placed on a lot of things. Maybe it is our fathers and their father’s and the father’s before them? Maybe it is our churches teaching us men that all we have to do to follow Christ is show up on Sunday and put 10% of your income in your plate while loving your wife while providing for your family? Maybe it is culture’s fault for telling men that the more women we sleep with the bigger man we are? Maybe it is society’s fault for giving us video games and movies, thus making it easy for us to stay in adolescence? Maybe, just maybe, it is women’s fault for letting us get away with not being a real man and settling for us staying and living as boys in adolescence?
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