Super Bowl Masculinity Part 4: Where is your Adventure?

Commercial #3 is for the Dodge Charger. Watch it here: http://video.yahoo.com/network/100076996?v=6934463&l=7438495

If you have not noticed yet, each commercial is stepping up in its intensity. We have seen that society sees that men are called to be something; we have also seen that along the way men have forgotten who they are and must reclaim it. Lastly, we see that men are longing for something more. The only problem is that due to circumstances, due to culture, due to our sin nature we do not know how to receive what it is we are called to be and we get lost on the journey of becoming a man.

The power in this commercial lies in its simple voice over and mundane, beaten, broken, tame, frustrated, tired of life, apathetic faces of men. These faces and the monotone voices that are spoken over these faces show us a picture of men that are disconnected with life. These pictures serve to illustrate the point that the life that the average American male is living is leaving a giant, gaping hole in their spirit, in their heart.

The American, westernized man is depressed and who can blame them? Honestly, if we take a look at our society, our culture and even look at the men that are successful or have something that we wish ourselves have, we see that inside they are essentially longing for the same things we ourselves long for. What we can extrapolate from this is that our western culture is making us run inside a consumeristic rat race. This race is dramatically leading us nowhere as our life, our race is being played out on the world's largest treadmill. We are seeking and striving to catch this magical fruit that is dangling in front of us and will allow our spirit rest and peace, but in the end it is constantly, consistently inside our view but always eluding us by staying just out of reach of our fingertips.

This commercial is wearyingly filled with depressing, confining language as we receive the same message illustrated in facial expressions, conveying to us the principle that man is looking for something more, something deeper, something tangible, something to live our lives for and toward. To illustrate this, Anberlin’s “Burn Out Brighter (Northern Lights) says  we  want to "live inspired" and "die for something".

Frankly, this is what this commercial is telling us men want. We long for an adventure that is worth giving our life to.  Sadly, what is more intriguing is that Dodge is trying to convince men to believe that the missing piece in their life will be the Charger as it is "Man's last stand". This haunting, yet adventurously exciting phrase can mean one of two things. Either, we men are running out of time inside society and we need to act fast before our nueterization is complete or simply, we will not have to make another stand, because this car, the Charger, is what life is all about and will make you complete.

Men, this is not the only advertisement that is telling us what we need to be complete as an individual – it just so happens this was uniquely directed toward that longing in us on Super Bowl Sunday. What are you feeling your life with as you seek that adventure, that purpose? Do you feel that void in your life? Do you want to live inspired? Do you want to die for something? Or better yet, to quote John Piper, do you want to waste your life? There is an adventure waiting for us. God is inviting us into an epic journey that we get to take part in what God is doing, and we, men, get to play a part in it. Are you ready to play your part?

Super Bowl Masculinity Part 3: Take off that Skirt

Commercial #2 is for Flo TV and is entitled "Spineless". Watch it here: http://video.yahoo.com/network/100076996?v=6935017&l=7438495

Outside of this commercial being absolutely hilarious, it is an insightful picture into a dilemma that is inside our Western culture. It is here that I begin to tread carefully not wanting to offend anyone. It is here that I realize the Modernist rise of Feminism will want to take me out back and put me down. It is here that the Post-Modern notion of no truth is better than another comes into play as I begin to make a notion that men and women are equal in everything, but have hard-wired genetic differences in gender issues and roles. We are different and God bless that. A humanity that was full of people who did not: wear matching clothes, put away their underwear, throw away clothes with holes, care about what smells came from or out of their body, care about how much grease or pizza their body ingested, care about doing the dishes, or God forbid, ever write a romantic comedy.

We are different deeper down then at a mere physiological existence level of biology and it goes far beyond the comical, stereotypical notions about manhood versus womanhood that I mentioned above. Interestingly enough, this commercial has two ways that it comments on gender issues/roles.

Firstly, "his girlfriend has removed his spine". Thank you Jim Nantz for uttering that amazing line of dialogue. What does this mean? Well, she has taken charge in the relationship and turned him into a nice, tame, “polite” (to go back to our previous discussion) man. He has been "whipped" and she is now wearing the allegorical pants of the relationship for lack of a better metaphor. While, I would love to sit back here and critique this as the fault of Feminism or women trying to usurp men and be men that would nowhere be near the complete truth (some truth maybe, but only some). To illustrate this notion, none of this would be possible if men did not allow women to remove their spine.

Let me simply state this. This is a cultural insight into how men have become passive and nice, or "polite" to a fault. It has gotten to the point in our culture where the dream of the average American male is to sit at home in his pajamas, eat cheese puffs, play video games, and watch television all day - essentially never growing out of adolescence. It is in this passiveness, in this lack of responsibility, where we have fumbled the football on what it means to be a man and lead a relationship. It is here, that women have thus been forced to rise up and take charge of a relationship and fulfill tasks that men are called to do/be. This is not necisarily because men are incompetent (though many of my brothers may appear to be); it is our nature to be leaders and to be strong. Instead, I argue that culture has allowed men to live in apathy. We can be adolescent into our 20’s – we do not need to grow up. Our culture has forgotten how to transition our boys into manhood and in the process apathy has developed because we no longer know what it means to be a man. It is here we lose our masculinity because no one taught us what it is to be a man so we turn to culture and that is an imperfect representation of manhood (just look with your eyes what it says about being a man). Therefore, our apathy is what creates our “spineless”ness.

 Secondly, Jim Nantz tells Jason to "change out of that skirt". What is he implying with that jab? I have already implied this above, but he is saying that Jason and his girlfriend have switched roles in the relationship; she is wearing the metaphorical pants.

We have a part to play - it is not the fault of women or Feminism. Not only do we need to keep our spine and reject apathy and passivity. Also, many men need to rise up and quote unquote take off that skirt. We need to step back up and lead, not because we want to be on the couch watching football instead of shopping – but because what a woman truly needs (not because they are incompetent) is man who is willing to stand up for what is right and lead a relationship to the point where he is willing to lay down his life for her (just like Jesus) and by doing that we get our spine back and put on the pants.

So, while I would love to pass the blame, it is time we men stand up and admit it is our fault. It is time we get off the couch, put down the remote, put on some pants, and put away the bags of processed food and start being who we were called to be - men who lead. Society sees it with their very own eyes; society is even calling us out on it - just like Dove for Men does. We were created to do certain things, manly things, things that require sacrifice and an adventure of grand purposes.

So I simply ask, men, why are we not living up to it? What has gone wrong? Why are you apathetic? Why are you not leading? Why are you conforming to culture? Why are we not teaching our boys to be men? Why are we not living out Biblical masculinity?

Super Bowl Masculinty Part 2: Where'd All the Real Men Go?

Commercial #1 is for Dove Soap for Men. Watch it here: http://video.yahoo.com/network/100076996?v=6934407&l=7438495

Inside a commercial for a personal hygiene product (i.e. soap) we see what society is saying a man is. It is done in a comical, entertaining fashion – but it is definitely there. Did you catch it? Did you see the picture of masculinity that it is painting? 

This commercial does not paint a completely false image of what a man is, some of it is right. Some of what this commercial says about manhood is correct. Fundamentally, what I find fascinating is that this ad is trying to show those watching it that there is a foundational, underlying, ingrained, hardwired difference between men and women. From this understanding they then argue that the way we respond to that is by making sure men and women have different kinds of soaps – they need a soap that is specifically designed and intended for them to use – because they are men.

Watching the commercial you can peruse just a few highlights of what they think a man is designed and hardwired to be. Men should: be good at sports, look cool, lift weights, be strong, know how to fight, get married, and fulfill duties of protecting and providing for your family. To delve into these full-fledged would take too much time and energy. But from these alone, we get the idea that men have things that make them men (profound I know). While, I would argue this is a mixed bag of correct and incorrect things of what manhood is – the point is this – men were created to be something unique and underlying it all is a character of strength and resolve.

Outside these highlights, there are two things that I want to point out in our conversation here.

1) "Stay out late, but be polite" – This commercial is appealing to the side in men that knows we were not meant to be tame and passive. This is illustrating that there is something is us that is supposed to be wild (go read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge for more). But if you notice, it even shows that men are meant to be wild but at the same time “be polite”. This shows us that culture identifies men as people who feel trapped and that we cannot be truly who we are, because society is telling us we have to be these nice, “polite” men. Culture wants us tame and to lose our edge to the point that we don’t rock the boat, don’t ruffle feathers, or even shake birdcages. *Note: Nice does not equate with good. Nice is passive. Nice does not stand up for what is right. Polite is afraid of offending people so as to not rock the boat. A polite guy will never speak out, because who is to say he is right? A nice guy may speak out, but in the end, because he is “nice” he will never act out or fight for justice, fight for what is right because he is a nice guy.*Note 2: Men should never be violent, rageful, or wrathful. A man simply stands up for what is right and this can look like many different things. When a man sees injustice, he acts. This is the wild side we can never tame down and make “polite”. *Note 3: I’m off my soap box now.

2) "You can take on anything" - This phrase is so true. Now, with everything else that was in this ad, culture painted a picture of a man that was a jock, and if you were not you are not a true man. I thoroughly disagree with this as nowhere in the Bible/by Jesus is man defined by his outside or the physical and praise Jesus for that. The key is that a man’s strength, resolve, character must be able to handle anything. His character must have the reputation of handling anything. This does not mean a man is not allowed to have weaknesses. This does not mean that he cannot be vulnerable. This does not mean that he cannot show emotions. What it simply means is that when times get tough so does the man. He will not run away. When life gets hard, this man is not going to get buried. He is a man that you want at your side helping you, because while it might be tough you know he and all those around him will in the end be okay.  Dove for Men actually got that part right – kudos to you.

This snapshot of manhood is a picture of how confused our culture really is about gender and what it looks like to be a man. We must be wild but not too wild for we must constantly be “polite”. We must not step on any toes or hurt any feelings for then we would cease to be “nice”.

The blame for the confusion in masculinity can be placed on a lot of things. Maybe it is our fathers and their father’s and the father’s before them? Maybe it is our churches teaching us men that all we have to do to follow Christ is show up on Sunday and put 10% of your income in your plate while loving your wife while providing for your family? Maybe it is culture’s fault for telling men that the more women we sleep with the bigger man we are? Maybe it is society’s fault for giving us video games and movies, thus making it easy for us to stay in adolescence? Maybe, just maybe, it is women’s fault for letting us get away with not being a real man and settling for us staying and living as boys in adolescence?

Super Bowl Masculinity Part 1

Unless an American lived in a cave, one had to know that today was Super Bowl Sunday. I would find it hard to believe one could not know about it, live in America, speak English and still call themselves an American, but anything is possible I guess.

Super Bowl Sunday comes and goes, year by year, and has become an unofficial American holiday (for the better or worse is up to you to decide). One thing that can be gleamed from this is if one is man, one watches the Super Bowl (a generalization I know, but go with it). Football and more importantly the Super Bowl has been married to the idea of being a man. One Sunday a year, it is expected that every man in the country will be somewhere, anywhere eating food and watching the Super Bowl. Fathers train their sons in this ritual at an early age in the same way that mothers teach their daughters to watch sappy romantic comedies on Valentine’s Day.

This day out of the year is a great day to see what type of picture American society is painting about masculinity and manhood. From everything to the food we eat, to the places we watch the game, to what we wear, to what other members of the opposite sex wear, and even what team we teach our young boys to root for. More importantly though, discoveries and lessons abound even inside 30 second commercials that cost 3 million dollars to put on the air.

Now, I am not here to talk about our Western consumeristic culture (like I could), or even the Tim Tebow ad (which, by the way, I love and cannot believe they turned into a scandalous issue). What I want to talk about are three ads that paint a picture of American masculinity. It shocked me to find this many ads that wanted to talk about masculinity. It is almost as if our culture is beginning to realize that there is something not right, something broken, something that is incomplete about the men that society is creating.

One of my heart’s biggest desires, one of my strongest longings, one of my most passionate callings is to see boys become men; to see men stand up and start acting like men. I long to see a generation of men who end the cycle of abandonment and apathy. It is my dream that once again, men will fulfill their calling as leaders, lovers, servants, and fathers and in so doing change the world and let the Kingdom burst on the scene as they become the hands and feet of Jesus.

So, if you will indulge me, for the next three days I will be posting observations from all three ads. All I ask is that you sit back, read, get ready to laugh, and see what culture is attempting to teach our men. Once we do that, I’ll simply share some thoughts on how to engage with this issue.

Not All Missional Stories Make You Look Saintly

Over the course of living a missional life style, one tends to realize more and more that they are a perfect individual who is entirely like Jesus, the equivalent of a modern day saint I am nothing special. I am just a mere man. In fact, I'm a mere man who is becoming more connected and in touch with my fallen, human, broken sinful self.

I always get so weary of telling my "successful" stories in living a missional life. So I'm very happy to report that this one is not full of self-promotion or patting myself on the back. This story is one that I regret. This story is one that God used to remind me of just how broken and how much I need Jesus and the Gospel in my life.

Last Friday night, the 15th of January, I had just gotten off of work in Fullerton at the TSU. It was 6pm and I needed to hit the Arco on Placentia and Chapman before meeting my sister and brother to go to dinner and see The Book of Eli.

It's during this drive for gas that something strange happens. I start to sense and feel God reminding me to keep my eyes open, to always be on the lookout for ways to "be a blessing to others" (Genesis 12:1-3) and constantly be on the look out for how God is already moving and working inside Fullerton and all of Orange County. It is with that fleeting thought that I pull into the Arco and start pumping gas into my truck.

Shortly after this, a man on the other side of my pump approaches me and asks me for some money because he ran out of gas for his car and he forgot his wallet at home. Now this is the part of the story that I'm ashamed of, I originally told him no because I didn't trust the way he looked. He looked suspicious. Baggy clothes, etc. The Holy Spirit thankfully starts working on me as I go in to pick up my change and I'm reminded of the conversation God had with me 5 minutes earlier that night, and right in that instance my brokenness, my sinfulness is put on display for me to see. It felt like I had been hit by a bag of bricks multiple times.

So, begrudgingly, shamefully, humbly, brokenly, I go back out to the guy near his car with $6 in my hands (enough for 2 gallons of gas) and shake his hands and all I simply say is "Hope this helps." I didn't say anything else, because at that point it was time for me to have an honest conversation with Jesus on my drive home about why I held the thoughts I held and how I need to be constantly reminded of how much I don't deserve anything Jesus gives me/does for me; how much I need the Gospel; how much the Gospel is not just for those who need Jesus for a first time, but for those who have been with Jesus for some time; how much I need to constantly recalibrate my life around the cross and the resurrection.

On the drive home, my mind was reminded of the passage in Genesis about Abraham and the 3 strangers (Genesis 18:2-8) who visit him. He had no idea who they were, he just blesses them. He takes them in as sojourners. Doesn't ask questions, just offers to bless them. Meanwhile, as I write this I'm reminded of my favorite prophet ever, the begrudging Jonah, who refused to go to the Ninevites because he knew God could save them and then gets upset when God does.

All this reminds me of how broken I am and finds me asking myself pertinent questions we all should ask: who are those God's calling me to bless unconditionally; who are those I'm afraid to live sacrificially, missionally, servantly, lovingly for because they might repent and come to Jesus?

Don't Worry About Putting "Christ" back in "Christmas": Let's put Jesus in our lives during Christmas

Living in America we as those who seek to live like Jesus hear a lot of calls of putting the "Christ" back in Christmas. We hear calls and pleas to not let people tell you "Happy Holidays" or even say "X-Mas" (did you realize that the 'X' is the Greek letter that starts off the spelling of 'Christ'?). But what we need to not worry about is putting the "Christ" back in Christmas - but keeping (or putting) Jesus in our life for Christmas.

We live in a post-modern world where even Christmas trees are under attack. For instance, at CSUF in the Titan Student Union, Christmas trees are outlawed becuase they have been deemed of religious nature. Do you know what is allowed though? A Holiday Tree. The difference? A Christmas Tree has ornaments and a tree topper - a Holiday Tree does not.

Now personally, I find this ridiculous because Christmas is far from a religious holiday. In fact, its roots go back to the Romans and Paganism - but Constantine and the Christian Empire adopted this day to celebrate the birth of Jesus (a great thing for us to do). But, since our culture is no longer that of Modernism and Christendom - this holiday in America is far from religious in nature. Importantly, I don't think that is a bad thing because Christians have used this as a way to stop living missionally. We began to expect that people would be willing to hear the gospel message or show up to church twice a year - Christmas Eve and Easter. We began to expect that uttering the very words "Merry Christmas" was a witness and that by putting up a nativity scene in our houses it was enough. I believe our adamant stance on Christmas and Christianity began to be a downfall and even a supreme example of how comfortable we had become inside the West and thus became lazy.

All this is stated, does not mean that I think what we had was wrong, it was just a different time in a different culture. What I do think it lead to was laziness and comfort (something Jesus warns against). What it lead to now is where certain sects argue over the right to say "Merry Christmas" or sing religious Christmas Carols in public schools (it was a story on AOL a couple of days ago). This is not what I believe Jesus had in mind when He told us to be the salt and light of the world.

Now, while I don't feel the need to fight over the un-Churched world about those things; I do feel the need to propagate the notion of how important it is to live missionally during the Chrismas season (also known as Advent). There's a short, great book entitled Advent Conspiracy: Can Christmas Still Change the World? by Rick Mckinley, Greg Holder and Chris Seay that gives tips about how to live a contrasting missional life that is showing a different picture then that of the cosumeristic culture we live in. So, I highly suggest making that a read.

But, after going through this Christmas season I've learned something - Christmas provides plenty of opportunities to live missionally and here are just a few:

• Christmas Parties: Need I say more? Go to them and hang out with those who are un-Churched. This is a great way to establish relationships and even show them something different. You might even be able to invite them to your church, or your house, or talk about what Christmas means for you. The possibilities are endless.
• Generoisity: There are many ways to play this one out, but the main key is to be GENEROUS! GIVE! Give to families you have a relationship with where you see needs. Be generous with your time and money.
• Joy: Coming up with one word for this one is tough, but "joy" is a good word. Do you show "joy" to the un-churched? How do you carry yourself? Do you let he holidays stress you out? How do you treat employees at the stores? To put another way, can people tell from one interaction with you during this season that you are filled with "joy"? *note: we should always have joy - but, at this time of year when the holidays should be happy and people freak out, joy can make a huge difference and lead to many conversations with strangers...
• Christmas lights: Now, some places won't allow it - but go big on your Christmas light display. Make it bright. Make it fun. Make it interactive where people want to pull their car over, or want to make a trip to see your house. Make it welcoming. Make it a place where they want pictures of it. Make it a place where they want to take friends to. Now, some people may not have the heart or the ability to do this I understand. But for those who can, turn your house into a missional Christmas display. One day, I hope to be able to give away Hot Coco and other goodies, all so I can better engage in conversations and build relationships. Heck, one day I'd even love to set up a giving booth where they can donate money and all the proceeds go to either Advent Conspiracy or some other credible, quality charity. All this with the purpose of getting to know people.

This is what I mean. Let's put Jesus back into focus during Christmas, don't worry about putting "Christ" back into "Christmas". Live missionally inside your community, your neigborhood, your city. Look for oppurtunities to use Christmas as a means to build relationships and let them see a life that demands an explanation - one that only Jesus can provide.

I Love This Place Enough to Have No Doubt - Missional Lyrics in a Secular World

As one lives missionally, occasionally one is going to come across parts of culture that catch their attention. As one seeks to engage culture, one will find inside a secular, post-Christian culture some art, some music, etc that will resonate and illustrate foundational truth. This just serves as an example of how much the Church must engage culture, not create a sub-culture, in order to redeem it with the Gospel and Jesus. In turn, this will create a counter culture and allow for the Kingdom to explicitly break forth.

One such example of this type of thing is from the secular band - Snow Patrol and "Take Back the City". Go listen to it and come back, here is the link...Snow Patrol's "Take Back the City"

When this song is played it reminds me of the Church's call of Nehemiah to love their city and take the Gospel to it. It reminds me of how much God loves the city and how Jesus wept over Jerusalem before he was crucified. It helps remind me of how important of a task it is for the Church and it's people to love the city in which God has placed them and called them to.

I just want to highlight some impactful lyrics:


God knows you've put your life into its hands
And its both cradled you and crushed
But now its time to make your own demands
(What are your demands for the city you live in? Are they that of Jesus? Why do we rely so much on the city, the world and not on God?)

All these years later and its killing me
Your broken records and words
Ten thousand craters where it all should be
(All the world, the city does is placate us...)

No need to put your words into my mouth
Don't need convincing at all
I love this place enough to have no doubt
(I love this place enough to have no doubt. These are the lyric that touch me the most. Do you honestly love your city enough, that you have no doubt that God has called you to it? Do you love your city to the point that you don't need to get convinced on mission? This is what I constantly get challenged with by this song.)


It's a mess, it's a start, it's a flawed work of art
Your city, your call, every crack, every wall
Pick a side, pick a fight, but get your epitaph right
Or you can sing til you drop 'cause the fun just never stops
(Of course its not perfect, that's why your city needs Jesus. Are you gonna run from your mission - or do you love your city enough for it to give your life to repairing it through the Gospel and Jesus?)


I love this city tonight
I love this city always
It bares its teeth like a light
And spits me out after days
(The world, the city, I love it. But it isn't going to go down with out a fight. Don't expect this to be easy. Don't expect this to not cost anything.)

But we're all gluttons for it
We know it's wrong and it's right
For every time its been hit
Take back the city tonight
(Its full of the good and the bad. We run to the city for the wrong reasons. Its time to run to the city with the Gospel and be the hands and feet of Jesus.)

This is one of my favorite songs of the moment. It is also, probably one of the best missional engagement songs out there. It shocks me how powerful and informative these lyrics are. My question for you is: Do you love your city? Are you willing to engage it with the Gospel and bring the Kingdom?Do you want to see Jesus take claim of His city? Do you want to see the Kingdom invade your city?